Take a deep breath

Have you ever had that feeling, that sometimes you have to take a deep breath and start again? Or New Year, new you?

Food and weight are funny things; one of my brothers would say that we have the fat gene. I am not entirely sure that this is true but I would definitely say that my relationship with food is an interesting thing.

I would say that once you have a weight problem, you always have a weight problem. I recently heard someone say that there was a fat person continually trying to come out of them. For those of you that have followed my blog since I stopped being a WeightWatchers leader, or for those of you that are new to my blog, I just want to remind you that I'm normal!

My previous blog told you how happy I am; there is a side to this that comes at a cost! My man snacks! I can't eat the snacks that he does but guess what, in the year that we've been together he has turned me into a snacker! That is not entirely true or fair to him; haven't you just read that I said once you have a weight problem you always have a weight problem, even if you have shifted that weight?! I am also going to use a word that many people will sigh when reading 'oh, no here she goes again mentioning that word'; peri-menopause!

In the last year I have lost a little weight and gained a whole load more 😒 Is this the fat person trying to get out or is this contentment? My man would say that he doesn't have a problem with where I am so I shouldn't, but I do! I've said it before; I know what to do, I know how to do it and I know the success that can be had. So what to do? The answer may not be the same for all but for me it's about taking control and the start of that is by returning to a WeightWatchers meeting.

This I did last night; faced the horror of the scales . . . and it was a horror. Want to know how horrific? I weighed more than I have in over 10 years. This is really not good but in actual fact I have done the hardest thing for me and possibly for a lot of people and that is to accept where I am, draw a line under it and start again. How many times have I said that? If you read back through Tessa's Moments you will probably find too many times to count! Life is a journey and weight loss is part of that never ending journey for me. Sometimes the fat person gets out and takes over until I reach a point where I don't want to live like that anymore.

My man sees me as a whole person not just about weight, size or how others look at me but I'm not comfortable being the size I currently am. That is what is the most important thing. We should never do things because of what others think of us. Success will never come. We should always do what makes us happy.

Yesterday was Monday, the start of the new working week and although going to my meeting last night and not 'officially' starting until today I had to take back some control before standing on the scales last night! Lunchtimes are a real challenge for me. I use that time to leave work and go for a walk, clear my head and get some fresh air. The problem is that there is a Tescos Extra about half a mile from where I work. Yesterday, and indeed today, have been the first time in over four months that I have managed to go there without buying sweets! I don't do things by halves . . . ever, so we are not talking about one packet or bag. Tescos do 3 for £1.20 and have regular offers on pouch bags; how can one possibly resist?! Well, I have managed for two days! I just need to keep that up and break the bad habit that I have got into. 

I have said this before and will indeed say it again, I'm sure. For me to keep control of my weight I have to track everything that I eat. The beauty of WeightWatchers is that you are given a budget; you stick to that budget. The way to do it, like my bank account, is to keep a track of it! Rule #1: Remind myself that this is what works for me and I have to keep doing it.

So, back to the start of this post; I have taken a deep breath and started again. I am in the final fifteen months of my forties, most of which have been amazing and a real learning experience for me. I need to make sure that the lessons that I have learned in this decade stand me in stead for moving into my fifties and being fit, fabulous and fantastic. The first thing is to regain control of this weight thing!

Carb loading

Anyone reading this and looking for advice on training better stop now! This post is about a confession . . . some know this about me already and others will just come to know that this is all part of Tessa's Moments! The picture is so apt . . . 

I started 2016 with a mission; to lose the (approx) 21 pounds that I had put on since stopping being a WeightWatchers leader and complete my first ever London Moonwalk. I think that I have said before that I am most definitely someone who likes a plan, someone who likes structure and order.

All was good, by my birthday 13 weeks into the year, I had lost a total of 15 pounds. At one point I was only half a pound away from losing 10% of my starting weight; a real weight loss goal. That is no longer the case! So, what happened?!

Training for the Moonwalk properly started on Sunday 21 February with a 3 mile walk. I would say at this point that I had been used to doing an 8/10 mile walk each weekend. Sometimes fairly pacey other times a slow walk chatting with friends. All was going great until I started doing longer distances. The weekend that I walked 14 miles was a real killer; I ended up in bed for the rest of the day and would say that my body was in shock. I can't quite describe what it was going through but would suggest that I was in some sort of diabetic hypo state, without being a diabetic. I realised at this point that I really needed to look at how I was fueling my body before, during and after the long walks.

I had a sit down with my PT and she talked a lot of science to me; all things that I could totally understand. The next 5 weeks training were then great as I established how to fuel my body correctly for what I now know is an endurance event but before this hadn't really thought about what I was doing or realistically how long it would take to do. Okay, that is not true either! I knew that I wanted to complete the Moonwalk in 6.5 hours but that was just a number not an understanding of how long that actually is!

During the 12 weeks training I was still following WeightWatchers SmartPoints but I had started to do something that I know is something that I do . . . cheat! How was I cheating? Well, over the last 5 years when I have followed any WeightWatchers plan to the letter, there are two things that I have always done very well and effectively; I have mentioned these two things in a post before and they are planning and tracking everything that I eat. It works! When I don't do it, it doesn't work!

I remember years ago watching a programme where someone talked about trigger foods. What is your trigger food? The food that is your go to that then maybe leads you down a slippery path to eating whatever you want and then saying stuff the diet I'm going to just keep going!

For me, that trigger food has never changed. It has always been the same and is BREAD. I cannot have a fresh loaf of bread in my house as I would just eat the whole thing. When I buy a loaf of bread it has to go straight into the freezer. It takes time to defrost a piece of bread and by that time maybe the effort or thought of taking it out of the freezer will have kicked in and it will stop me eating the bread! MAYBE!

I was earning on average about 150 FitPoints a week from my walking, and other exercise. The new guidelines from WeightWatchers are not to use any FitPoints that you have earned. This is something that I would have done in the past anyway. What is the point in increasing your activity and then eating anything that you have earned; it defeats the object of trying to lose weight!

So, back to how I had started to cheat. BREAD! I have regularly been someone who eats when I am bored, not because I am actually hungry! I would regularly have 2 pieces of bread, with spread and marmite on them each night. My brain would not stop me taking them out of the freezer because I would tell myself that it was okay as I was doing all this exercise! The scales were still moving too, so I wasn't doing that much damage was I?

After the Moonwalk was over I will admit to crashing; I have said that it felt a little bit like jet lag. I couldn't be bothered to cook and although I was till planning all of my meals when it came to eating my evening meal I had no desire to cook. In the last 3 weeks I have lost count of the amount of tiger loaves that I have bought . . . and consumed! I have carb loaded the wrong way round! I feel sluggish. I most definitely don't have the energy that I had previously.

I have also not been accountable to anyone. Due to one thing or another I have only been to my WeightWatchers meeting once in the last 4 weeks. That weigh in was not a pretty site! I KNOW that I have to go . . . and stay to the meetings. I know what to do. I also know where I have been going wrong but we all need some help and to be reminded.

Yesterday, I stepped back onto the train. The journey has started, yet again! I went for a 6 mile walk, which I enjoyed and did not see as a must. My food is tracked and planned and I have asked for support  . . . something that I don't often do.

I have written this post, put it out there and saying Tessa's Moments are on the move . . . again!

In a nutshell!

I love nuts (!), salted peanuts being my favourite. They are something that would only ever be in my house at Christmas time because I could not be trusted to just eat a handful, or a small amount. If I had a bag in my house, no matter what size, it would be devoured in one sitting and not make it to the following day! 

My mum used to always have a basket on the kitchen table, at Christmas time, that was full of assorted nuts, in their shells, with a nutcracker that you had to be careful you did not trap your fingers in. I'm not sure whether that 70's contraption would still be allowed to be bought for the twenty-first century health and safety conscious! On that note I decided to Google nutcrackers and I found it! It was a weapon!

After a bit of a blip, nearly fainting, at my second #kettlercise class it was suggested that I eat almonds and fat free fromage frais as a pre-workout meal to enable me to get through the session. The protein would be slow release whilst exercising. Then not long after, whilst on a walk with friends, we had a discussion about the benefits of almonds and brazil nuts. The man commenting has 6 almonds and 2 Brazil nuts a day. Ever the one to see if adding these to my diet might help my perimenopausal symptoms, I started doing some research. I won't even go into the Big Brother is watching you but articles started appearing in my Facebook news feed!

I have taken from an article in O, Magazine a couple of things that I found useful. Read the whole article at the following link; How nuts can help you live longer:

Brazil Nuts 
The bad news: You can't eat a lot of them. Each of these Amazonian nuts contains about 33 calories—the equivalent of nearly 10 M&M's. The good news: You needn't go overboard to reap their health benefits. Just two nuts per day for 12 weeks can increase blood levels of the mineral selenium by 64 percent. Selenium is essential for proper immune function, as it helps build germ-fighting white blood cells. 
Serving size: 6 nuts, 186 calories 

Almonds 
Call them the skinny nuts. In a 2013 study in the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition, people who ate about one and a half servings of almonds with breakfast felt a 35 percent decrease in appetite an hour later. When the nuts were consumed as an afternoon snack, they quashed appetites by about two and a half times that, helping the subjects naturally eat less for the rest of the day. 
Serving size: 23 nuts, 164 calories 

It is interesting that just over a year a Mediterranean diet was being purported to being the healthiest diet for anyone to follow. Nuts are often found in a Mediterranean diet. 

I have made a conscious decision to have a healthy snack every day. Whilst getting my head around the new Weight Watchers SmartPoints I very quickly discovered that some things that I would have classed as nice, healthy snacks were too high in SmartPoints to justify having them! 14g of almonds is 2 sp (anywhere between fourteen to sixteen almonds) and two Brazil nuts are 1 sp; so fairly low at 3 sp. I then found these amazing little pots that fit that amount of nuts in them perfectly!

I do Kettlercise twice a week and my pre-workout meal is now 24g almonds (4sp), fat free fromage frais (3sp) and a banana (0sp). I have also tried having this before doing a 10 mile walk on a Sunday and discovered that I had more energy than my usual weekday breakfast of a boiled egg and a piece of toast. I now, therefore, have my pre-workout meal as a breakfast on a Saturday and Sunday; for those interested that equates to 7sp.

I also now try and have the almond and Brazil nuts snack at least three times a week. I know that everything does not happen instantly but I have also read some really good things about almonds reducing belly fat; Almonds can reduce belly fat. 

Let's see!

On track. . .

This picture hangs in my sitting room and is there as a reminder for lots of things in my life.

I set myself a goal, which was to be back in my healthy BMI range, by this week. We won't go into discussing BMI ranges at the moment, as I have my own thoughts on that! A couple of weeks ago I did not think that it was possible as my weight loss was slow and steady but I have lost 5lbs in the last two weeks and have achieved it! In the first seven weeks of 2016 I have lost a total of 10lbs.

It is my birthday in six weeks time and if I can lose half that amount again I will be happy. The goal that I will actually set myself is 7lbs or half a stone. Let's see!

I'm back on the track, on the correct path, doing what you ask? Something that I believe wholeheartedly in . . . TRACKING everything that I eat and drink. It really does work. 

I went out with the girls from work, for something to eat, on Tuesday. I intended to be really good. I'd researched the menu online and chosen what I was having; all good. Problem?! Yes, on the specials board was a Winter Berries Eton Mess! Well, of course, I HAD to have it; who wouldn't?!? So the next dilemma is do you acknowledge that you have had it. Pre being back on track the honest answer to that would have been no! Good me, said 'yes, of course you do!' There then lies a problem. Trying to search through the Weightwatchers app to find something 'similar' gave a wide range of SmartPoint values. From as little as 9sp to a whopping 45sp! I decided to plump for a middle one being 23sp. That meant that I was -12sp across the week. I have set my app up to not take from my FitPoints so that I am not tempted to do this; I earned 81 FitPoints this week. I could have just left it at that but decided that I needed to look at the remainder of the week and make some adjustments. I managed to claw back 6sp's which left me on -6sp; hardly anything over just by changing a couple of things.

To be on the correct track I believe that you need to decide what it is that you want to achieve, even if it is just a little thing, then set that as the goal. To be honest, the smaller the goal actually is then the more likely that you are to achieve it. Small steps on the journey. The destination may be too far away; think about each goal as a station or stop along the way. Reward yourself at each stop. This can help with the motivation; it doesn't need to be a lot just a little something to acknowledge the journey that you are on. A trip to the cinema? A walk around the shops? Meeting a friend for a coffee? How about a reward chart set up with each of the stops along the way.

At the Weightwatchers meeting that I go to, for every half pound we lose we get given a marble to put in a jar on the front table. The clinks as they are put in are very satisfying to hear. This week we were given a Lego brick for each half pound and asked to build a wall. The visual of that solid wall is in my head from all the weight lost in the meeting. If I think about my own weight loss that would be 22 bricks and really is something to be proud of. How are you doing? How about building your own wall and seeing how far you have come?

The answer is; keep doing what you are doing. TRACK. . . TRACK. . . TRACK. This is where success starts. . . 

What's different now?

Someone asked me some time ago to tell them when I had found the answer to getting back on track! I am not sure that I have the answer but I do know what works for me.

I think that it's actually like a jigsaw. When all the pieces slot together then it makes things easier. You need to know what you are doing, have belief in what you are doing, follow it and believe in yourself. But

sometimes it can take a while to find the right pieces although you know where they should go you can't actually place them!

I regularly say that almost everyone who has ever tried to lose weight knows exactly what to do but sometimes it's not as easy as that.

It's the end of January and I've been 'properly' following the weightwatchers plan since 4 January. The first week; post Christmas weigh-in, I put on 1lb. I lost weight for the next two weeks; 3lbs and 1.5lbs. At this week's weigh in I gained 0.5lbs. My total loss for the month is 4lbs; but 5lbs lost since I rejoined in the middle of December. Am I happy with that? Honestly, I would have wished for more. I know from experience why I gained weight this week. I have done a lot of walking and this week did my first #kettlercise class in over 3 years.  The side effects of that have meant that I have not been able to move for much of this week without being in total agony! It's good agony as I know that I have worked my muscles but what I have had is known as DOMS, or delayed onset muscle soreness! It is a common phenomenon which not only includes muscles soreness, 24 to 48 hours after your workout, but can also include loss of strength, decreased range in motion, mild inflammation and an increase in two to three pounds or more in body weight! DOMS is common in people who are new to resistance training or a response to a change in exercise routines. That would be me this week! If I didn't know this I could have been very disappointed but I know that losing weight is not something that happens overnight. It is a lifestyle change. I will be continuing with the walking, kettlercise classes and following the weightwatchers plan. 

The beauty of that thought is that it is February. I have already noticed that as this month has gone on my walk to and from work has changed dramatically. When I walk to work in the morning it is already not so dark and coming home on Friday night I could almost say that I was not walking home in the dark. I am hoping in another couple of weeks that I will be walking home in daylight!

My mood is already better at that thought, as I really have had it with the 'winter blues'! So, I face the month of February in a positive mood looking forward. Let's see what next month brings.

End of week two

So it's the end of the second week in January. I now have £3 in my money pot and several positive notes; some of which will hopefully make me laugh next year, if I can remember them!

I have had a good week with regards to #wwsmartpoints. I am getting to grips with making the right choices over food and would actually say that if you stick to mostly 'old' filling and healthy (now No Count) foods then you are onto a safe bet!

I really enjoyed Filling and Healthy when it was first launched in 2014 but, as with lots of things, I pushed it to it's limits! On Filling and Healthy (now No Count) you can eat crumpets; I have been known to eat 16 crumpets in one day, plus 3 meals! I'm liking SmartPoints because it really is making me think about the food choices that I am making.

I will, at some point, update my recipes to reflect SmartPoints and No Count. I already know that the Ratatouille Bake is now 11 SmartPoints whereas it was 10 ProPoints, as I have planned to eat this this next week! 

I have always said that losing weight is not easy but it is simple; all you have to do is follow a plan, whether that be WeightWatchers or any other programme. I really like the saying that I have tagged to this post; 'if you want it, work for it. It's that simple'. I want to be back to a point where I am happy and that means that I will work for it. When you work for something then you will usually reap the rewards. I have worked this week; I have walked to work every day; I earned 94 FitPoints. My weight loss was 3 lbs this week. It's been a while since I lost that amount of weight in a week. I have now lost 4 lbs since I rejoined. There are several goals that I could aim for; WeightWatchers would say I should be looking to getting a silver 7, losing 7 lbs. Or 5% of my original weight which is 8 lbs but I'm actually looking to lose another 6 lbs, that's 10 lbs in total, from where I currently am. That weight will take me back into my healthy BMI range and I know that at 10 lbs lost I will definitely notice the change. Once there I will then decide on the next goal.

I am also not saying that this week has been easy either. One of my son's went back to university last Saturday and the other on Monday. What has that meant for me this week? I loved having them home; my house became a tip, which I did not like! But I had kind of got used to my own space. This week has been a bit difficult to come to terms with; so much so that on Tuesday and Wednesday I went to bed at 8.30 pm just because I was bored. On Wednesday I had this huge desire to eat, even though I was not hungry, so the best thing was to go to bed and then it would have been an effort to get up and snack!

The weekend is upon us and I am looking forward to my 'long' walk on Sunday; I may indeed do a walk on Saturday. I'll see what time I wake up in the morning!

Remember, 'if you want it, work at it. It's that simple'. Have a great week!