I did something!

Three weeks ago today my best friend got married. So. . . . I did something that I said that I would never do!

If you've ever read any of my blogs you will know that I have struggled with my weight. Indeed, this blog came off the back of me stopping being a WeightWatchers (WW) leader and posting blogs that would hopefully encourage those that I met along that journey, and anyone else who stumbles upon this blog!

Let's get back to where we were! Since the beginning of 2020 I have tried to lose weight. During this time, I followed the WW plan with an online subscription. Having had some success and then slipping and putting the lost weight back on again I knew that I needed to change some things.

In July 2023, I had around 13 months to lose weight and keep it off for my best friend's wedding.

The thing for me with losing weight (and keeping it off) is that I know that I need to be accountable to someone, other than myself. I have tried having a weekly check-in with someone else but that hasn't worked! I know, for me, that I need to go to a 'slimming' class; be part of a group of people who are trying to achieve the same thing. With that in mind I set about looking for a WW meeting. The pandemic has not been kind to WW meetings in my area. When looking at the WW website, my nearest evening meeting was more than 20 miles away; that's a massive commitment and not something that I was prepared to do.

I had to look at the 'competition' - Slimming World! 

I have always maintained that I could and would never go to a Slimming World meeting because they use the word 'syn'. How can food be given such a negative word? And how can you eat as much pasta and rice as you want? All of these are the snippets that I have picked up on those that have been members of Slimming World or indeed from WW leaders meetings! But needs must, especially as there was a meeting within 5 miles of my front door and a mile away from where I work.

With a certain amount of trepidation on Thursday 17 July 2023, I stepped through the door of a village hall into a different world; a Slimming World (SW)! 

As you may have previously read, I have followed different incarnations of WW since the 1990's and propoints worked for me when I got to my goal weight in December 2011.

I sat through the introduction, already different from WW, as that would have been done at the end of the meeting. Lots of different things to take in; healthy extra A's (Calcium) and healthy extra B's (Fibre), free food and speed food! I then sat in the meeting. The meeting was being covered by someone other than the regular consultant and as we were right slap bang in the 'holiday' period the meeting wasn't that busy. All of this was great for me; a gentle slide in to the Slimming World way!

I needed/wanted to lose around 2 1/2 stone (35 pounds). This would have me at the top end of my healthy BMI for my height. We won't discuss BMI as we all know that it can be wildly inaccurate, but it is one measure of 'healthy' weight. I am not a 6'5" rugby player with loads of muscle; I am a mid-50's, average height woman whose BMI on 17 July 2023 was 30.7, which classed me as obese.

I am aware that some can lose huge amounts of weight following the Slimming World plan, especially in the early weeks. I have never had significant weekly weight losses and certainly didn't expect it.

I had a food diary (homework, as I called it!) to complete each week for the first four weeks, to be handed in to the consultant for checking. A new one for me, but one that I liked. There was some of the accountability. I lost 2.5 lbs the first week, which I was more than happy with. The second week was 1/2 lb and I had one of those moments! I was asked how I felt about that by the consultant and being honest I wasn't happy. What then happened felt like an attack but was actually other members trying to be really helpful but I was like a rabbit caught in the headlights over what I was and wasn't eating!

Over a year on, I can look back at that moment and laugh. I had SO much to learn (and unlearn!). For a start 'syns' are not what I thought they were! I can honestly say that if I look back at my eating habits, prior to SW, they weren't great. Who remembers the crumpets?! Fruit? What was that? I'd be lucky if I ate a banana a day and again, if I'm truly honest, I would probably only have 3 portions of fruit and veg, some day none! Certainly no where near the recommended 5 a day! I don't have milk in tea, or indeed drink milk, so to have the healthy extra A's added into my diet has been great. I'm now getting the calcium that I wasn't. That's got to be a good thing!

It has taken me nearly fourteen months to lose that 2 1/2 stone. The last 7lbs has taken FOREVER but I know why. I have been 'playing', not truly following the plan, 'cheating' here and there and getting away with it. If I hadn't been paying to stand on someone else's scales then I would have possibly quit and put weight back on BUT I didn't. I also had a goal that I needed to get to; my best friend's wedding!

As I said her wedding was three weeks ago. It was a fantastic day. Although I wasn't at my desired weight, I was very close! The dress that I bought back in January looked great. I was very happy that she got married to her one.

After the wedding, I reset. The event that I'd been aiming for was over and I wanted to make sure that I got to the target that I had set all those months ago. I've been working towards this goal for so long. I had to remind myself the effort that it has taken to get here. Last night, I FINALLY got there! My BMI is now 24.7, so I am therefore in my healthy weight range for my height. 

Now I have to live with the weight loss that I have achieved. Learn how to maintain that the Slimming World way, 'cos that's new. Part of that action plan is to introduce some more exercise, to help tone up and also to help towards maintaining the weight loss.

The hardest part has been done. I am now back to a weight that I was in June 2016, post the Moonwalk. That's 8 years ago! My life has changed significantly in that time, which I'd never have predicted back then. 

I now need to embrace all that . . . love myself and move forward.

2022 - A year of HRT - Part 3: July to September

Welcome to a year of HRT - Part 3. 

As mentioned in Part 2, I’d collected my prescription for the Evorel 75 patch, the replacement for my Sandrena gel, at the end of June. I applied my first patch on the evening of Saturday 2 July. I felt completely out of sorts on the Sunday and Monday; had a migraine on both days. I even fell asleep on the Sunday afternoon, which is really unusual. I took the patch off on the Tuesday night as my Sandrena prescription had arrived, and this would have been the day that I would have changed it anyway. I did not, at the time, think that how I felt was in any way related to the application of the patch. 

The following Monday I passed a large blood clot. TMI? Maybe, but as I've said previously I'm wanting to be honest and hope that anyone reading this can take something from my experiences. I’d not had anything like that since the summer of 2019, so it was a complete shock to the system. I flooded my underwear and the shorts that I was wearing and had to go home to wash and change. Now, I wasn’t overly concerned as I had a sneaky feeling that it had something to do with the Evorel patch. My specialist appointment was the week later, and I knew that I would discuss it there. Had I not been due to have this appointment I would have sought medical counsel. Any bleeding that is not usual should be investigated.

So, Tuesday 12 July arrived; my menopause specialist appointment. After I’d received my blood test results, and as the day drew closer and closer, I was getting more apprehensive. I’m an acknowledged overthinker and had already decided that I might face the same response as I had from my GP. There are a couple of differences between a GP and a menopause specialist; one is time and the other knowledge. If you are lucky you get 10 minutes with a GP and if you are even luckier they have a specialist knowledge on the menopause. A GP has basic knowledge of so many conditions and just doesn’t have the time that someone facing perimenopause and menopause needs, in my opinion. My first menopause specialist appointment was for a guaranteed 50 minutes. If you know me, you will know that we didn’t stick to this time but to be fair, I did have 10 years to discuss!! I also established that Dr Glenys is an NHS GP and that she, and another colleague, had attempted to get funding to set up an NHS menopause clinic in the Peterborough and Cambridgeshire area but this had been declined. She had then set up her own clinic. This also explains why her clinic is only open 2 days as week. If I was one of her patients I’d be getting her knowledge and expertise on the NHS. How lucky are her NHS patients!

I needn’t have been apprehensive. Dr Glenys was amazing. I’d documented my period cycles for the last 10 years, highlighted some of my early perimenopause symptoms, then later ones. Discussed the fact that I was prescribed an SSRI (antidepressant) for those symptoms. She asked why? I had no answer to that, as I didn’t know why I was ever really prescribed them, other than that I’d been told that they would help with my hormonal imbalance?!

She then went on to discuss the results of my blood test. Although I had been applying the oestrogen gel for 7 months or so, I wasn't absorbing it properly, as my oestrogen levels were lower than they should be. This explained why I was still getting symptoms; night sweats, periods of being able to fall asleep fairly easily but waking anywhere between 1 and 3am, then staying awake for 2 plus hours, being moody and tearful, to name a few!

I’d been advised to apply the oestrogen gel on the outside of my thigh. Dr Glenys informed me that this was not the best place for absorption and then went on to show me where to apply it; it should be where the skin is thinner, so the inside of the thigh or even the inner forearm.

We discussed my testosterone levels and the impact of my sex hormone binding globulin, one of the other tests that had been done. She agreed that adding testosterone to my HRT regimen would definately be beneficial for me. Yeh! I was so relieved!

After further discussion we agreed that I would change from the gel to a patch. I told her what had happened to me on the Evorel patch. She explained that although the dose of the patch was correct for the dose of Sandrena I was on, because I was not absorbing the Sandrena gel properly I’d hit myself with as huge dose of oestrogen all in one go. Hence the migraine, feeling odd and the blood clot a week later! There is another patch available, Estradot, which we agreed would be good for me as someone who has a history of migraines. The recommendation was to start on 50 micrograms, then a month later move to 75 micrograms, then a month after that move onto 100 micrograms. Basically, increasing my oestrogen levels at a steady pace. Once my oestrogen levels increased I could then start the testosterone.

I received the clinic letter, by email, late afternoon on the day of the appointment. Wow! This summarised everything that we had discussed and she had also supplied me with a prescription for the Estradot, to discuss with my GP. I pay for an NHS prescription prepayment plan, and as this is available on the NHS there was no point in paying for a private prescription. In October 2021, the Government announced that women in England would only have to pay one charge of £18.70 for up to a 12-month supply of HRT. It was recently confirmed that the move would not be enacted till April 2023! It may be the case that I can have a 3-month supply on one prescription, when my levels have settled down, but for the moment it's a monthly prescription for me.

Dr Glenys discussed 3 different forms of testesterone with me; 2 types of male testosterone and 1 type of female. I opted to go with one of the male types, partly due to how little is used therefore how long they last (approx 300 days) and also cost! The female form, AndroFeme, is licensed in Australia and comes as a 3-month supply costing almost double what the male form costs for 3 times less supply! She had sent the prescription to a pharmacy, I then received an email from them to pay, and two days later the testosterone (Testim) had arrived. Because of how little I will be applying I then had to source a very small syringe to measure the dosage correctly! Amazon was great for this! They are sitting in the bottom of my wardrobe waiting for the day that I can start applying it!

During my weekend spa break with my best friend, we'd had time to talk! One of the many topics was weight loss, or lack of it. On Saturday 16 July I stood on my bathroom scales, yet again! Weight not quite back to where it was last November when I wrote A moment in time but only 2 pounds off...... The holiday booked then was now only 15 weeks away. I set a plan. As I have said, repeatedly, I am always better with a plan. Whether that is food planning, exercise or even with a target in mind. 15 weeks allowed a healthy weight loss of between 14 and 28 pounds. The top end of the possible weight loss would be lovely, but as I've got older the weight has not been as easy to lose. With all this in mind I set about meal planning and food management started. 'Food management' is the phrase my hubbie came up with. It's not a diet, as it is a way of life. I just need to manage what I am eating! oh, and maybe think about exercise too!

I'd had to have some repeat blood tests for my GP for something unrelated. Although, as I am writing this my thoughts are that I when I went in May and discussed testosterone with the GP I also discussed how easily I bruise with her, which led to the original blood tests. I've read something recently suggesting that bumping into things and therefore bruising are another perimenopause/menopause symptom! I had scheduled an appointment for a week after seeing Dr Glenys, to discuss those tests and also update her on my private appointment. I took a copy of the clinic notes so that she could put them with my NHS notes. I continued to use the Sandrena gel, before this appointment, but changed to applying it to my inner forearm, as had been suggested by Dr Glenys.

My GP raised the prescription for the three doses of Estradot and sent them to our local pharmacy, which is a village Boots store. Eager to start the patches as soon as possible, I went to the pharmacy that afternoon. I was greeted with supply issues of this particular patch. The advice given was to call other pharmacies to find out whether they had stock. Should this really have been down to me to do? Anyway, I did! I found out that a larger Boots store not to far away had stock of the 50 and 100 patches and that they could order the 75. I arranged to have my prescription put back into the system?! This meant that as I had my NHS number any other pharmacy could then pull that prescription and fulfil it for me. 

So, I applied the first Estradot patch on Wednesday 20 July. This patch was much smaller than the Evorel patch and 'stuck' more easily than the Evorel patch had. I put that first patch on my upper thigh. Subsequent patches I have applied around my hip area, alternating the side that it is on.

Whilst on this dose I was GRUMPY! I'm sure that the 'long suffering husband' could use other words to describe me but that's my interpretation! I was still having night sweats, periods of broken sleep and therefore tired, grumpy and with little energy. I suppose some of that is possibly because I had been applying the 1.5mg Sandrena gel in the correct place for about a week, so I had therefore increased my oestrogen levels; I had then dropped them back down when applying the patch.

I previously mentioned in my Jan to March post that I hadn't read the book that was suggested by Oprah but in July I read another. Natural Hormone Balance for Women by Uzzi Reiss. This book was published in 2002 and is written by an American Obstetrician-gynaecologist. I don't know where or when I bought this book, probably years ago BUT what I do know is that I should have read it earlier! I hadn't even finished reading the foreword before I'd messaged my best friend and told her I was ordering her a copy. There are many points raised that I could relate to. Parts I read made me have 'lightbulb' moments. I've been looking at the last 10 years of my life and totally 'get it'. I have been so impressed that I discovered that he wrote another book in 2020, The Good News About Estrogen, that I ordered this too! This book is really an updated version of the first book but does have some added information relevant to the 2020's. 

In August 2016 I wrote the blog post Post Moonwalk Blues. What I have realised since reading the aforementioned books is that I almost definately had a hormone crash at this time. I sort of knew this due to food that I started to crave and was then eating. Sweets! I'd never really been a sweet or chocolate eater but I would binge on handy packs; Haribo's, Maltesers, anything really! I fell out of love with walking. Again, looking back, I know that some of this was due to the ever increasing aches and pains which I couldn't face after doing even a 3 to 4 mile, 1 hour walk. My periods were still averaging 25 days but with increasingly heavy first days. By the end of that year I had my first 'missed' cycle. I wonder if I'd read the first book earlier if I'd have had a better understanding? For me, there is nothing I can do about that. This series of blogs is to get someone who is reading to look at themselves. I was just shy of my 43rd birthday when I noticed my first perimenopause symptoms and I didn't even know that that's what it was! Knowledge is power and if this gives someone a little bit more knowledge then I've achieved something! Look to my blog post Trust me! if you want to see the list of 40 possible perimenopause symptoms; either to refresh you or to help you to look for signals.

On Monday 1 August I went to a ReboundFit class in Brampton. This is exercise on a mini trampoline and is great fun. Easy on your joints. An overall great workout. I've been to them before but when I found this class, so much closer to home, I knew that I had to rejoin. Another tick in the box for trying to regain control of my life.

Four weeks after applying the Estradot 50mcg patch I started the next box, so up to 75 micrograms. I'd lost 7 pounds (lbs) in weight and also managed to maintain some kind of exercise programme! I am still keeping track of any symptoms on my WellWoman app. Within 2 weeks of starting this patch the night sweats had completely stopped. The broken sleep was down to a couple of times a week rather than only having a couple of nights uninterrupted sleep a week! This all adds up to feeling, a little, more energetic and taking an interest in things. That is very vague as I can't quite put my finger on what I mean here. I suppose it's a little bit more 'get up and go', rather then wanting to spend a weekend morning in bed!

On Wednesday 14 September I applied the 100mg patch. I change my patch on a Wednesday and a Saturday. It works for me to be in this kind of routine. When I looked at what the recommendations were for patch changing, this one was the one that I felt suited my lifestyle best. I generally have a bath every evening. So I remove the patch before I get in the bath. I use copious amounts of soap to remove the 'glue' residue that is left from the surrounding area. If that doesn't work then I have found that baby oil removes the last little bit; a tip gleaned from a live Instagram with Lisa Snowden and Dr Naomi Potter!

The day after applying the second 100mg Estradot patch I had spotting. Having had the bleeding that I have had this year I knew that this was down to the increase in oestrogen; probably why Dr Glenys didn't just prescribe me it straight off! Remember that I had not been absorbing the ostrogen from the Sandrena gel properly and I'd passed that blood clot whem I'd 'overdosed' on the Evorel 75 patch. The spotting lasted 3 days and then settled. I was now on countdown! Two weeks on the 100mg patch and I could start applying the testosterone.

By the end of September I could most definately say that I was starting to feel more like me! That's a really difficult one to quantify. The easiest way to describe it is this; imagine a birthday balloon that slowly loses air. There's still some in it but it's not as full as it was. You are then somehow able to refill the balloon. Pump it up a bit! That's the easiest way to say how I feel. Still got some saggy, crinkly bits like that deflated balloon but with some air pumped back in I'm feeling much better. About myself. About my well-being. About my relationships. About my life.

2022 - A year of HRT - Part 2: April to June

October is Menopause Month so here is part 2 of my year on HRT. If you've missed seeing Part 1 I'd recommend that you read it before continuing with this post. 

My birthday is the start of April, and this year I turned 53. I’ve tracked my monthly cycle since December 2011, so well over 10 years. I have used an app called WomanLogPro. Not only can you track your period but you can track all aspects of your monthly cycle. Looking back through not only the tracking of my periods but also the symptoms that I was experiencing, plus the knowledge that I have gained, I can see that as early as February 2012 I was having perimenopause symptoms. The issue that I faced, at that time, was that some of the symptoms I was experiencing I didn’t realise were perimenopausal as they just weren’t obvious!

Menopause is such a ‘hot’ topic that I discovered that the app now has a function to put it into menopause mode! Brilliant! I can still track everything that I did before; my symptoms, moods, weight, sex (!) and a whole host of other things.

To understand what your own body is doing you need to get to grips with it. I have mentioned before that I knew that the migraines that I was getting around the age of 43 to 47/48 were cyclical. This was because I was tracking them on this app. I could see that they appeared usually on Day 17. My average cycle at that age was about 26 days. I have recently learnt a bit more about this (read Part 3: July – September, where I’ll go into more detail).

I remember having a conversation with a colleague about hip and knee pain in my mid-40s, which I had; she also had them and had been advised by her doctor that the aches and pains she had were just down to getting older, something that I accepted too. This is correct but what I have come to realise is that these aches and pains become more as our oestrogen levels drop. Another of those ‘flags’ that I hadn’t realised were perimenopause related.

In April, I was muddling through. Coping with ‘spotting’ but also still with the knowledge that things weren’t right. Doing my own research, I realised that I was still missing a piece of the jigsaw. Another hormone, testosterone. Now, I should have known this! Ask anyone of my female friends who knew me in my early to mid-forties, and they would tell you that there were lots of aspects of my life where I thought, and maybe behaved (!) like a man! We go back to the things that we don’t talk about, or skirt around. One being libido. For some a lack of libido may not be a problem, but for me it was, and is! Again, there are several other things that I have since established but I’ll keep them in order, and you’ll read about them in a future post.

I knew that I needed to go back to my GP. I have found a young, female doctor in the practice that had gained some extra knowledge on perimenopause and menopause and was prepared to listen to me and offer HRT. I have therefore wanted to see her as much as possible. I called to make an appointment at the beginning of May and due to holiday and the accessibility of pre-bookable appointments I couldn’t get an appointment until 18 May, but I suppose that’s what you get when you are only prepared to see one doctor!

I knew that the chat with the doctor was not going to be an easy one; she asked how I was getting along with the HRT, which allowed me to broach the subject of testosterone. I cannot even describe her face; she was shocked that I was even asking this. Davina McCall’s second programme; Sex, Myths and the Menopause, had aired on 12 May. My lovely, young doctor went on to say something to the effect of ‘Davina has a lot to answer to’. Now, although I had told a couple of people about this second programme I had not, at that point, watched it myself and bear in mind that I had made the appointment at the beginning of May! I told the doctor this. She then said that testosterone is not licenced, for women, in the UK. Something that I also knew. As I said, I knew that the appointment was not going to be easy, but I had seen that some women were getting testosterone on the NHS. This was not going to be the case for me!

I had steeled myself for the fact that I was going to have to go down the private medicine route, but where do you start? As I have mentioned in Part 1, I am very aware of Dr Louise Newson but also aware that her private practice is in Stratford-upon-Avon, Warwickshire. Due to the amount of media attention that she has gained her clinic is busy. The likelihood of getting an appointment with her is slim, and there is a waiting list to see any of the other specialists in the clinic. I know that the appointments are over the phone for those who are not close by. I wanted to physically see a specialist.

I asked my doctor for some advice on this, and she advised me to go to the British Menopause Society (BMS) website. I’d never heard of them but then it is aimed at healthcare professionals. The beauty of the sight, from a lay person’s point of view, is that it allows you to search for a BMS menopause specialist. As the site says ‘A BMS menopause specialist is a healthcare professional who holds a recognised menopause educational qualification’; all of which can be seen on their website.

My GP did suggest a menopause specialist who was based in the Norwich area. Having left the appointment, I went back to work and started searching on Google! I did find the Norwich based specialist but then used the BMS website and found a specialist literally 12 miles from home, EveryWoman Health in Huntingdon.

I went straight to the website, read everything about the specialist, Dr Glenys Quartey-Irwin (I'll call her Dr Glenys from now on, as it's just easier!) and established that the clinic had only been open since the beginning of the year. After a discussion with my husband, I decided to book an appointment. The first one available was 12 July, 8 weeks ahead. Dr Glenys only runs her clinic two days a week, so it was what it was. As part of the appointment process, I completed 2 online questionnaires; it was all really straightforward to do. There was obviously a cost to booking the appointment, but it was something that I was prepared to do. Her fees are readily available to see on her website. I am in a position where I can afford this route; others aren't so lucky and I know that part of the 'menopause movement' is trying to make HRT accessible for all. 

On Saturday 21 May I received an email from Dr Glenys asking me to complete a questionnaire. When I booked the appointment, I hadn’t used my middle name (which isn’t actually my middle name; that’s another story!) but when I completed the form I had. Once I’d told her that I had already completed one she told me that the system had seen that I was two different people. She sorted this and then came back to me and advised that as I was already on HRT that I should have some blood tests before my appointment. This would allow her to have all the information that she would need prior to us meeting.

I paid for the blood tests, then called the company who facilitated this on the Monday and booked the blood tests two weeks before my appointment, so the end of June. This was to make sure that the results would be with the doctor by the time of my appointment. All I had to do now was to wait for the blood test appointment and then the specialist appointment.

On Friday 24 June, we went to a performance of Romeo and Juliet at The George Hotel, in Huntingdon. We'd been invited by our accountants. What started off as a lovely evening with a buffet meal at their office and then a sedate walk down to the hotel to watch the play turned into a nightmare! What happened is the tale of a 'Hollywood' script and deserves to have a blog post on it's own, so I will give it one! 

A spa weekend away with my best friend, at Aqua Sana, was a fantastic way to get over the excitement of the previous evening, spend time with her; an early 40th birthday present, and just relax before another hectic week!

On Tuesday 28 June I had my blood tests, I could tell a tale here, but I’m not going to. Let’s just say that something that should have been so simple ended up being a farce! The following day I received an email from Dr Glenys with the results. Although there was a partial explanation, what I read concerned me. I was apprehensive that what I was reading meant that what I was feeling was going to be diminished by the blood test results. Obviously, I’m no doctor or a specialist, so I’d just have to wait until my appointment. Easier to say than do!

During April, May and June there were supply issues with the Sandrena gel, so much so that the 1mg was not available from my chemist for more than 4 weeks. By the end of June I was running out of gel with no sign of the Sandrena being available. This resulted in the pharmacy suggesting that they could change the prescription to a patch. If they did this then I would lose the Sandrena prescription, which I most definitely didn’t want to do! I made contact with the doctor’s surgery and asked for a phone call. Having explained the situation, my GP agreed to send through a prescription for the Evorel 75 patch. This was the correct patch/dose equivalent of my 1.5mg Sandrena. I was prescribed a month’s supply and we discussed that it would be there as backup if there were supply issues with the Sandrena again.

In 2022 - A Year of HRT - Part 3 I will talk more about this and obviously my specialist appointment! 

A moment in time

In the blink of an eye 10 years have gone by. On this day, 10 years ago, I reached my WW Goal weight. I'd been on a mission, I had a wedding that I was going to and it took me 5 months to reach my goal. 

We all know what a strange year 2020 was for the whole world and and as we head towards the end of 2021 we are still not out of the woods with COVID-19. 

On 1st January 2020 I was in a great place; my first granchild was just over two weeks old, our business was moving in a direction that we wanted it to and I had decided that I needed to take control of my eating. We were away on holiday so, new year's resolutions aside, I knew that I would not be making any real changes until we got home. 

I stood on the scales on 4th January 2020 and I was 4 stone (56 pounds) over my WW goal weight. A weight that I had not seen in over 20 years and way above where I'd started on that journey 8/9 years previously. As I have said in previous posts I am unsure whether, as I have got older, this goal weight is realistic, but that is something that did not need thinking about at this time! What needed to be thought about was that control was gone and I needed to gain some back!

I always do better staying in control when I have a target. At the start of 2020 this was a 50th Wedding Anniversary party in mid March; this was cancelled with the imminent threat that COVID-19 presented. As we went into the first UK Lockdown on 23 March I had managed to lose 14 pounds; not bad for 11 weeks, a steady one pound a week loss.

I have read many varied accounts about people taking control of their lives and those who lost all control during the various lockdowns that we had. I very firmly fall into the latter camp! Running your own business, not being able to operate that business and wondering if it will still be viable were all things that put an end to any of the good 'gains' that I had made. Coupled with not being able to see family and friends, being able to touch and hug, all added to firmly losing control; not just of food but of many things.

I started, again, in January 2021 determined that as I approached the age of 52 I would take back control. I did make it to my birthday (2 April) but I was hit with an unexpected wall in mid April. My focus was needed elsewhere. As many who struggle with weight loss would attest to you have to be selfish and it is very easy to put everyone before you. Once a mother, always a mother and when your child needs you, even as an adult, you do everything you can to help.

In mid October, I watched Davina McCall: Sex, Myths and Menopause. I had recorded it when it first aired on Channel 4 on 12 May but had wanted to watch it with my husband and had not been in a place where I could.  For the last 6+ years I have been talking about perimenopause to anyone and everyone who would and wouldn't listen! 

I have previously blogged about the many symptoms of perimenopause and menopause in my blog Trust me! When I wrote that blog in August 2015 I had 18 of the 40 that are on this list. To date, I can say that I have now experienced at least 23. I went to see a GP in April 2015 as my headaches/migraines were so bad. I can't remember when I first went to the GP to talk about my perimenopause symptoms but I cannot believe that in that appointment that I didn't discuss the fact that I knew that they were cyclical and therefore hormone related. At a subsequent appointment with a medical professional I was prescribed anti-depressants. No talk of HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy)! I took these on and off for about 18 months but something didn't feel right. They were masking other issues! I no longer have migraines but other symptoms have taken over! 

October is Menopause month in the UK and Davina McCall, via Instagram, was posting daily symptoms related to menopause and perimenopause. Several posts hit home and one on weight gain grabbed my attention. Davina said, 'I often get asked if hrt makes u lose weight. It doesn't. But, it might give you the energy to want to do something about it.' Another on Electric Shock Syndrome (ESS) made me make a call to my GP. I was experiencing something like this which in the back of my mind was perimenopausal but reading this post confirmed it. My last period was 28th November 2020, so I was on the cusp of that magic year being period free. 

This last year has seen a huge campaign in the UK to dispel some myths around HRT and the get women the support they need whilst going through the menopause.

After a tearful telephone appointment with a female GP she agreed to send me links to some HRT information and an appointment was booked for a week later. At the same time I weighed up my options regarding weight loss. As I have blogged before, I have been following a variant of the WeightWatchers (now WW) since my early 20s. I am aware that many people now follow the Slimming World plan but I CANNOT eat food that makes a 'treat' a 'syn'. I know that it's psychological but I want to be able to eat whatever I want without ever feeling guilty about it.

On Monday 8th November I weighed myself, it had been a while; then I opened the WW app. (The app has never been off my phone in the 7 years since I downloaded it!) Oh no! it's that time of year when WW 'mess' with everything that you know! I do say that with a hint of sarcasm; the WW plan is usually modified every 2 years due to advances in science. I took the quiz and read everything about 'PersonalPoints'. 

Initial thoughts  . . . I can't do this! I looked at this new way for 5 days. Every time I took the questionnaire it changed my daily allowance! If I'm honest I couldn't see that it would work but I needed to do something. What I would say is that having read all the information provided by WW, 'PersonalPoints' is, in my mind, all about planning. Something that I have always advocated and even blogged about before.

I started on HRT on Friday 12th November. I sat and planned all my meals (and snacks) for the following week. Stood on the scales on Saturday 13th November; nearly back to the weight of 4th January 2020, but not quite! 

So, here we are on the 4th December 2021, 10 years after I reached my WW Goal weight! I am 3 weeks into HRT and restarting WW on my own PersonalPoints. I can already tell the difference that HRT has made; little gains like being able to walk down the stairs in the morning without painful ankles. This might actually lead to being able to go for long walks again (fingers crossed!). Something that I used to enjoy but have fallen out of love with. I have dropped 7 pounds. I have gone swimming weekly; little steps! I feel motivated. I have more energy and after speaking to the doctor yesterday I hope that things will only get better; she has suggested that it might take 6/8 weeks for the HRT to really take effect.

HRT may not be for everyone but if you have just a few of the symptoms listed above speak to your doctor. I wish that I had been more forceful 6 years ago.

As I said at the start of this post, I do better when I have something to aim towards. That's a foreign holiday (what's one of those?!) in November 2022. A year to lose and maintain some weight. A year of HRT and let's hope some motivation to start exercising again! 

Here's to my 50's!

What a journey!

Did you ever make plans, stick to them, then life happens and gets in the way and you have to re-evaluate those plans?

Let me reassure you that you are not the only one!

I started on this blog journey just over three years ago. I had stopped being a WeightWatchers leader (now known as WW Coach) and hoped that others could read  a little bit of me and see my daily struggles as theirs might also be.

I love the illustration that I have put on this post; you set your plans out and life sometimes throws great big valleys in the way. You end up travelling much further on your journey than going the straight route!

This is how my life has been for well over two years.

Two years ago I completed the 50km Thames Path Challenge, as a walk. Four months previously I'd completed the Moonwalk, for those reading outside England, this is not a Michael Jackson dance but a 26.2 mile overnight power walk around London. This I completed in just over 7 hours. Some feat! It would be fair to say that I had really enjoyed training for the Moonwalk but afterwards I 'crashed' and my passion and desire for walking, or indeed any exercise, died.

At the beginning of September I decided that my lifestyle needed a kick up the backside! I've got happy and content in my relationship and taking time for me seemed to have dropped off the radar. To put this in some context, two years ago I was happily a UK dress size 8/10 and had become a size 14/16. Some might say, 'I'd love to be a size 14!', but I have always maintained that weight and dress size are about what you are comfortable with. I did not like being a size 14, bordering on a size 16. From a weight perspective I would say that six weeks ago I weighed 56 pounds more than I did at my lowest weight, which was in February 2012. That weight is too low for me now, to be fair it was then too! As I approach my fiftieth birthday, in less than six months, I know where I need to be plus I am now loved by a man who accepts me for who I am and just wants me to be happy with me.

My best friend told him, when she first met him, that I was driven and that nothing would stand in my way when I made a decision, about weight loss. For as long as I have known her I have mostly been single; therefore the only person that I needed to worry about was me. Okay, I did have two teenagers but meal planning was done around them and it worked well for the best part of seven years!

I have always maintained that for me to be in control of my weight management, I have to plan and track what I eat. Taking time for me included planning meals and taking time to exercise. Because walking had been my 'go to' exercise, for so long, that's what I went back to. On Sunday 2 September I went for a walk. I walked for an hour. My ankles, which have started to become a real issue since peri-menopause, ached so badly that at times I could have sat down and cried. One of my knees, which has also been causing me problems, was also an issue. I felt very deflated by the whole experience.

I have had my gym membership for over a year and been failing to use it, like so many people, I guess! Feeling as I did, I knew that going into the gym would be a problem but it has a swimming pool so I decided that was where I would start. 30 minutes swimming can and would be as good as any 30 minutes that I could do on a treadmill, and let me tell you I'd never be able to run for 30 minutes on a treadmill!!

So, six weeks on. My meals are planned and tracked, on a weekly basis. Exercise, swimming, is planned every week; I try to go three times a week but sometimes it's only twice. I am 12 pounds down. We ALL want to lose weight quickly, but the correct journey would be slow and steady wins the race 😊When I started back on the correct path it was 16 weeks until Christmas and 16 weeks until my wedding! The plan had been to lose 14 pounds (1 stone) by then. That was realistic; understanding that I now live with someone and I cannot be as 'in control' as I was when I was single! Obviously, as I am nearly at that goal and we still have another 10 weeks to go the new goal is 21 pounds. If I lose much more than that then my wedding dress will need altering!

Back to the illustration; in July 2011 I started what I planned would be my FINAL journey with weight loss. For five plus years I managed to keep on a fairly straight path but the last two years have been more like the second picture; getting stuck in the water and not being able to get out, or stuck in that valley and not being tall enough to reach the ladder to climb out. YOU HAVE TO BE MOTIVATED! Yes, my motivation is my own wedding. I am also not saying that it is easy because temptation comes in many forms but sometimes it just takes doing something. 

Preparation is key; without it life is just so much more difficult. The journey will throw many obstacles in your way. Some you may sit on for a while, some may push you backwards but the key is just to carry on this journey through life.

Post Moonwalk blues

I have been silent for a while but during this time I have partially written three blogs but for one reason or another I have not posted them!

I last wrote on my blog on 6 June 2016, around six weeks after I had completed the Moonwalk; I thought that I had learnt a thing or two and would be able to change some things that were going wrong. Another six weeks on and I am still not there but I have learnt some more things along the way that I wanted to share and hope that it may give a 'light bulb' moment for someone, if not it will just be a good read!

WeightWatchers offers something to me that I know that I need; it isn't for everyone but it's good for me. So, what is that? Well, it's the support of a group of people who are all trying to achieve the same thing with a group leader who also has had, or continues to have, the same struggles as everyone in that group. WeightWatchers was founded on this principle over 50 years ago. I need to remind myself that part of that is to take time for yourself, setting aside that hour a week to go to a meeting and not let other things get in the way. . . 

The last time that I attended a meeting, which was about seven weeks ago, we were asked to look at ourselves and think about five things that are pretty cool about us. I know that almost everyone in the room probably looked at the floor and hoped that the leader did not ask us. She must have known this and told us to go away and think about it after first discussing that we are often times our own worst critic and that if we were to ask that question of our friends and family they would probably be able to reel off a whole list of things about us. The idea of coming up with five cool things about us was to try and change our attitude. Most of us who struggle with weight have most probably not got the best attitude when it comes to ourselves. I, for one, would, more often than not, overthink the answers and really struggle to come up with something. After trying not to do that I managed to come up with five;

1. I'm a loyal friend
2. I have a wicked laugh
3. I have beautiful eyes
4. I can talk for ever!
5. I make an amazing Bolognese sauce!

I am not really sure that these are actually cool things but heyho I came up with five things that are me and that I am proud of! Positive thinking will get you to where you want to be. I must remember to be kind to myself.

The next life lesson was much harder to deal with and acknowledge but I have learnt a new word because of it, although I'm not sure how much I will use it or even if it actually refers to me! In my last blog You're never too old to learn I stated that my competitiveness was causing me a problem. Having thought about this some more I realised that it had also had a huge impact on a major relationship in my life. The word that I have is atelophobia; the fear of imperfection, of not being good enough.

Now I am not saying that I have a phobia but what I am saying is that I recognise that thinking I am not good enough has often held me back. I have spent years sabotaging all sorts of things in my life; food being the major one.

I will not go into the whys and wherefores for where I think this comes from. What I do know is that knowledge is power. The realisation that I had was empowering; this just adds to that. What I have to do is shift how I view myself and stop thinking that I am not good enough. I AM good enough. This says it perfectly;

I do NOT need anyone to validate me; I am already valuable. 

This phrase may need to be repeated and repeated and repeated until I believe it but once I do then who knows what mountains I can climb and what heights I can soar. 

At the beginning of the year I had a plan, a focus; I knew exactly where I wanted to be and what my goals were. Unfortunately, I did not think past the 14th May! I should have known that once a goal had been realised that I might struggle; others around me did. I have spent the last twelve weeks in a post Moonwalk blues faze, beating myself up, trying to get myself out of a hole and not really knowing how to or why I was in it. I watched a programme, Bradley Wiggins 'Road to Rio', the other night and some things that were said resonated with me. After Bradley had won the Tour de France, in 2012, and then won a gold medal two weeks later at the London Olympics he suffered with depression for the best part of a year. He didn't know what to do or whether he wanted to even get back on a bike. Elated after completing the Moonwalk and knowing that I had power walked 26.2 miles, an achievement in itself, an opportunity arose to take part in another challenge The Thames Path Challenge. A 50km (31 mile) walk, also to raise funds for Walk the Walk. I did give it some thought, but maybe not as much as I should have, and signed up to take part in this event. It takes place on 10th September . . . loads of time to get back into the swing of walking! Yeh right! I set myself up with a new training plan for thirteen weeks and started it on Monday 5 June. I managed to stick to it for two weeks but since then it has gone slightly awry. Watching this Bradley Wiggins programme hit me smack in the face with the fact that I had the Moonwalk blues. It totally makes sense why I have found it difficult to motivate myself to walk but something needs to change as the Thames Path Challenge takes place in just over six weeks and I need to pull myself together.

I have learnt several lessons over the last twelve weeks and now just need to put them into practise. Understand that the only person that I need to be good enough for is me and that I AM good enough.

Maya Angelou once said, 'Success is liking yourself. Liking what you do and liking how you do it.'  I can genuinely say that ten years ago I did not like who I was but I have done a lot of work over that time to change that. I thought that I was there but this year has again proved that I have something to learn and things to change. That will not be easy. It has taken 47 years to get here but we are all a work in progress and learning is part of life. . . 

You're never too old to learn

Is there anything holding you back? Indeed, have you ever asked yourself this question or even contemplated it? 

I have known for as long as I can remember that I am competitive; it's in my genes! My mother is one of five and has four brothers. My father is the middle child of three with a younger brother; I know how competitive they both were! When playing any type of game with a non family member we used to have to tell them the 'Stephen' rules; I'm sure that my father changed the rules of every game so that he had a chance of winning! He would obviously deny this but there would be that cheeky grin and glint in his eye. . .

So, where am I going with this? For the last six weeks or so I have been going backwards. This is in relation to my overall health and well-being. I know exactly where I have been going wrong and I now exactly what to do to put it right but still I wasn't doing it. This is because I had no idea why I was. I went to my WeightWatchers meeting on Thursday night and, if I am honest, I was looking for some inspiration. For those who are new to this blog I was, until this time last year, a WeightWatchers leader. Therefore, I should know near enough everything that there is to know but here comes the bit about learning something new every day. Several things were said during the meeting. The journey that I take to the meeting is approximately thirty minutes. I, therefore, had my thirty minute drive home to contemplate the why? question. I am someone who reflects and wants to learn from things that I do and the answer that I found was not necessarily the easiest one.

I have said that I am competitive. I think that this is not a bad character trait but there are weaknesses to being competitive and how you use it. Some people who are competitive will want to win at all costs; to be the best and maybe to succeed at everything they do, maybe not caring for who gets in their way. I am most definitely not this type of person but I have identified that my competitive streak has been causing me some problems of late. I was a little bit taken aback but have since realised that I have seen this in at least one of my sons, so why am I surprised?!

So, I'll go back to my original question; Is there anything holding you back? I was so nearly where I wanted to be with both my weight and fitness so what has been holding me back? Since doing the Moonwalk, and maybe not realising or dealing with the psychological impact that this would have on me, I have been sabotaging. I have known that I was doing it but as I have said I didn't know why. The answer is my competitiveness. Due to eating really poorly, and some other life changes, I have not been able to do some of the things that were coming very naturally to me; complete a Kettlercise class with an 8kg kettlebell, walk at the pace that I was before the Moonwalk. Now this is almost definitely down to the crap that I have been putting in my body but the impact that being competitive has had on me has been a difficult one to come to terms with. As I have got weaker I have not been able to compete with the girls that I go to Kettlercise with or the friend that I walk with. The way my brain has been working is to shut down; to say if you can't be the best then don't compete at all!

This is what has been holding me back for the last six weeks! Now I have worked that out how do I go about changing my mental attitude? For me that is to take time for myself. Although some would describe me as the life and soul of the party I actually like solitude and my own company. I need to build my own self-confidence back up; believe in myself again and stop comparing myself to others. 

I have decided that for a while I will be walking on my own. I can sort my world out in my head by giving myself a good talking to; something that I don't do when I walk with my friend. She thinks that she's upset my apple cart but the reality is far from it. I have had to come face to face with something that has probably been happening for a great number of years but I didn't know it. Now I do I can manage it.

My mantra; everything happens for a reason, good or bad. At 47 I have learnt a life lesson that I probably should have learnt over 35 years ago but maybe then and before now I wasn't ready or equipped to handle it.

As an added note, whilst sitting writing this blog, my Facebook memories pinged on my phone. On this day last year I shared this picture. Now, I totally understand it and will keep reminding myself!

To my walking friend, it won't be long before I am staring at your bum again!!

Carb loading

Anyone reading this and looking for advice on training better stop now! This post is about a confession . . . some know this about me already and others will just come to know that this is all part of Tessa's Moments! The picture is so apt . . . 

I started 2016 with a mission; to lose the (approx) 21 pounds that I had put on since stopping being a WeightWatchers leader and complete my first ever London Moonwalk. I think that I have said before that I am most definitely someone who likes a plan, someone who likes structure and order.

All was good, by my birthday 13 weeks into the year, I had lost a total of 15 pounds. At one point I was only half a pound away from losing 10% of my starting weight; a real weight loss goal. That is no longer the case! So, what happened?!

Training for the Moonwalk properly started on Sunday 21 February with a 3 mile walk. I would say at this point that I had been used to doing an 8/10 mile walk each weekend. Sometimes fairly pacey other times a slow walk chatting with friends. All was going great until I started doing longer distances. The weekend that I walked 14 miles was a real killer; I ended up in bed for the rest of the day and would say that my body was in shock. I can't quite describe what it was going through but would suggest that I was in some sort of diabetic hypo state, without being a diabetic. I realised at this point that I really needed to look at how I was fueling my body before, during and after the long walks.

I had a sit down with my PT and she talked a lot of science to me; all things that I could totally understand. The next 5 weeks training were then great as I established how to fuel my body correctly for what I now know is an endurance event but before this hadn't really thought about what I was doing or realistically how long it would take to do. Okay, that is not true either! I knew that I wanted to complete the Moonwalk in 6.5 hours but that was just a number not an understanding of how long that actually is!

During the 12 weeks training I was still following WeightWatchers SmartPoints but I had started to do something that I know is something that I do . . . cheat! How was I cheating? Well, over the last 5 years when I have followed any WeightWatchers plan to the letter, there are two things that I have always done very well and effectively; I have mentioned these two things in a post before and they are planning and tracking everything that I eat. It works! When I don't do it, it doesn't work!

I remember years ago watching a programme where someone talked about trigger foods. What is your trigger food? The food that is your go to that then maybe leads you down a slippery path to eating whatever you want and then saying stuff the diet I'm going to just keep going!

For me, that trigger food has never changed. It has always been the same and is BREAD. I cannot have a fresh loaf of bread in my house as I would just eat the whole thing. When I buy a loaf of bread it has to go straight into the freezer. It takes time to defrost a piece of bread and by that time maybe the effort or thought of taking it out of the freezer will have kicked in and it will stop me eating the bread! MAYBE!

I was earning on average about 150 FitPoints a week from my walking, and other exercise. The new guidelines from WeightWatchers are not to use any FitPoints that you have earned. This is something that I would have done in the past anyway. What is the point in increasing your activity and then eating anything that you have earned; it defeats the object of trying to lose weight!

So, back to how I had started to cheat. BREAD! I have regularly been someone who eats when I am bored, not because I am actually hungry! I would regularly have 2 pieces of bread, with spread and marmite on them each night. My brain would not stop me taking them out of the freezer because I would tell myself that it was okay as I was doing all this exercise! The scales were still moving too, so I wasn't doing that much damage was I?

After the Moonwalk was over I will admit to crashing; I have said that it felt a little bit like jet lag. I couldn't be bothered to cook and although I was till planning all of my meals when it came to eating my evening meal I had no desire to cook. In the last 3 weeks I have lost count of the amount of tiger loaves that I have bought . . . and consumed! I have carb loaded the wrong way round! I feel sluggish. I most definitely don't have the energy that I had previously.

I have also not been accountable to anyone. Due to one thing or another I have only been to my WeightWatchers meeting once in the last 4 weeks. That weigh in was not a pretty site! I KNOW that I have to go . . . and stay to the meetings. I know what to do. I also know where I have been going wrong but we all need some help and to be reminded.

Yesterday, I stepped back onto the train. The journey has started, yet again! I went for a 6 mile walk, which I enjoyed and did not see as a must. My food is tracked and planned and I have asked for support  . . . something that I don't often do.

I have written this post, put it out there and saying Tessa's Moments are on the move . . . again!

I think I'm ill!

So it is 15 days since I took part in my first ever London Moonwalk; I managed to complete it in 7 hours 6 minutes, slower than the 6.5 hours I’d hoped but not surprising if you bear in mind the crowds of 15000+ women (and a few men)! I had been warned that the first 4 miles would be slow with bottlenecks of queues and it was painfully slow, at times, plus also having to keep to pavements and wait for traffic lights to change, as the roads weren’t closed for us. I had a pavement encounter at approximately 4 miles, tripping over a kerb! I walk with a bottle of water in each hand, to help swing my arms (the best technique for power walking!) and I was wearing my gloves, at the time, so I didn't damage anything too badly, although my right wrist was painful for some time afterwards and I was ever so slightly embarrassed that I had tripped up! I was told by a colleague at work that his mum had taken part this year and at 6 miles she tripped on some steps, split her head open and suffered concussion; fortunately I had no lasting effects over my trip. In the last 3 miles I started to feel the pain, in my ankles and lower back. The last 2 miles were the worst; I'm not sure how I managed to keep going and most definitely know that it is a mind over matter thing and I kept telling myself 'one foot in front of the other, you're nearly there!'


At about 23 miles I said to my walking partner, Debbie, 'this is a once in a lifetime experience and I am NEVER doing this again!'. I had thought that I would see how this year went and then plan to do it every year, up to and including my 50th birthday year; so that's another 3 times! At about 25 miles she agreed that she would never be doing it again either!

We crossed the finishing line, were rewarded with our medal and literally found ourselves a spot on the grass and somehow managed to get ourselves onto the floor. (If we could have giggled we would have, but we were just too tired!) Tops on, as
we were both starting to feel cold, laid down, took some selfies and then did not move for about 10 minutes!

The next challenge was to get up, move and get ourselves across London back to Kings Cross for the journey home. We really couldn’t face the walk to the tube but how we managed to get into a taxi back to Kings Cross I’ll never know - I’m sure the people watching us had a giggle and I think we practically fell out the other end!

We finally got home around 10am on Sunday. I'd had a thought in my head for about 6 weeks about what I was going to have for breakfast! As we burnt in excess of 3000 calories we would surely be allowed a treat! The image that had got me through some difficult training walks was that I was going to treat myself to an amazing breakfast! Not what everyone would have chosen but I had decided that I was having a McDonald's breakfast; but my name is Tessa Jane and I don't do things by halves! I'd decided that I was going to have two Double Sausage and Egg McMuffins and FOUR hash browns! Did that happen?! NO! I could not face anything to eat. I am not sure if that was a combination of being tired and being so cold; I have never been so cold and that lasted through until at least the Monday evening.

Being at work for that week was a struggle; I felt like I had jet lag, emotionally and physically drained. Well, I suppose that I had been in training for over 12 weeks for that one night and then it came to an end.

By lunchtime on the following day we had both decided that we had forgotten how we felt at 23 and 25 miles and that we were contemplating doing it again next year! By the time that Thursday arrived, the day that registration opened for next year's Moonwalk, we had both definitely decided that we were going to complete the Moonwalk again and sooner rather than later. We are signed up for Saturday 13 May 2017! It's obviously a little like child birth -  you forget the pain really quickly and only remember the triumph!

So, I think that I am ill or I've got a bug of some kind. Debbie had started looking for further challenges BEFORE we had even completed the Moonwalk. I had already told her that she was slightly mad and that we needed to get through the 26 miles and the night before thinking about anything else! I am someone who believes that everything happens for a reason. Yesterday we went for an 8 mile walk, the first walk that we have done since completing the Moonwalk. I will be honest and say that I found it really hard going. I didn't feel great; it does have to be said that I had an upset tummy and have been suffering with a cold and sore throat for a couple of days. We did complete the walk and at an okay pace, not our usual pace though!

Whilst out on the walk I received a message offering me a hotel room for the night before the Thames Path Challenge. A friend and her daughter, who were doing it for Walk the Walk, have had to pull out and as she knew that Debbie and I were thinking about it, she was offering us their hotel room for the night before the challenge.

I now have a 24/48 hour rule, embedded into me by my boss; don't do anything or say anything for 24/48 hours. If it is still important or worth saying/doing 24/48 hours later then do it, if it isn't then don't. Simple really!

24 hours on and I have found a solution around one of the stumbling blocks. So we are going for it! The Thames Path Challenge that we will be completing, this year (!), is 50km, approx 31 miles. The one that we are doing is a day challenge, starting at 8 am on Saturday 10 September. The beauty of this challenge for me is a time factor. I will have near enough the whole of August off work and will be able to dedicate some time to completing some long distances and maybe getting my speed up, although my walking and competitive partner may not be able to walk with me all the time so that may not be the case!

As my mother said to me a while ago, 'but you don't like walking!'. This is why I think that I must be ill or have a bug -  the walking bug. Let's hope that at 47 this is a phase that will pass!

I'll keep you posted on if I reach nutter status . . . it is in my genes and I think my father was around this age when he started to do some quite unconventional things!