A moment in time

In the blink of an eye 10 years have gone by. On this day, 10 years ago, I reached my WW Goal weight. I'd been on a mission, I had a wedding that I was going to and it took me 5 months to reach my goal. 

We all know what a strange year 2020 was for the whole world and and as we head towards the end of 2021 we are still not out of the woods with COVID-19. 

On 1st January 2020 I was in a great place; my first granchild was just over two weeks old, our business was moving in a direction that we wanted it to and I had decided that I needed to take control of my eating. We were away on holiday so, new year's resolutions aside, I knew that I would not be making any real changes until we got home. 

I stood on the scales on 4th January 2020 and I was 4 stone (56 pounds) over my WW goal weight. A weight that I had not seen in over 20 years and way above where I'd started on that journey 8/9 years previously. As I have said in previous posts I am unsure whether, as I have got older, this goal weight is realistic, but that is something that did not need thinking about at this time! What needed to be thought about was that control was gone and I needed to gain some back!

I always do better staying in control when I have a target. At the start of 2020 this was a 50th Wedding Anniversary party in mid March; this was cancelled with the imminent threat that COVID-19 presented. As we went into the first UK Lockdown on 23 March I had managed to lose 14 pounds; not bad for 11 weeks, a steady one pound a week loss.

I have read many varied accounts about people taking control of their lives and those who lost all control during the various lockdowns that we had. I very firmly fall into the latter camp! Running your own business, not being able to operate that business and wondering if it will still be viable were all things that put an end to any of the good 'gains' that I had made. Coupled with not being able to see family and friends, being able to touch and hug, all added to firmly losing control; not just of food but of many things.

I started, again, in January 2021 determined that as I approached the age of 52 I would take back control. I did make it to my birthday (2 April) but I was hit with an unexpected wall in mid April. My focus was needed elsewhere. As many who struggle with weight loss would attest to you have to be selfish and it is very easy to put everyone before you. Once a mother, always a mother and when your child needs you, even as an adult, you do everything you can to help.

In mid October, I watched Davina McCall: Sex, Myths and Menopause. I had recorded it when it first aired on Channel 4 on 12 May but had wanted to watch it with my husband and had not been in a place where I could.  For the last 6+ years I have been talking about perimenopause to anyone and everyone who would and wouldn't listen! 

I have previously blogged about the many symptoms of perimenopause and menopause in my blog Trust me! When I wrote that blog in August 2015 I had 18 of the 40 that are on this list. To date, I can say that I have now experienced at least 23. I went to see a GP in April 2015 as my headaches/migraines were so bad. I can't remember when I first went to the GP to talk about my perimenopause symptoms but I cannot believe that in that appointment that I didn't discuss the fact that I knew that they were cyclical and therefore hormone related. At a subsequent appointment with a medical professional I was prescribed anti-depressants. No talk of HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy)! I took these on and off for about 18 months but something didn't feel right. They were masking other issues! I no longer have migraines but other symptoms have taken over! 

October is Menopause month in the UK and Davina McCall, via Instagram, was posting daily symptoms related to menopause and perimenopause. Several posts hit home and one on weight gain grabbed my attention. Davina said, 'I often get asked if hrt makes u lose weight. It doesn't. But, it might give you the energy to want to do something about it.' Another on Electric Shock Syndrome (ESS) made me make a call to my GP. I was experiencing something like this which in the back of my mind was perimenopausal but reading this post confirmed it. My last period was 28th November 2020, so I was on the cusp of that magic year being period free. 

This last year has seen a huge campaign in the UK to dispel some myths around HRT and the get women the support they need whilst going through the menopause.

After a tearful telephone appointment with a female GP she agreed to send me links to some HRT information and an appointment was booked for a week later. At the same time I weighed up my options regarding weight loss. As I have blogged before, I have been following a variant of the WeightWatchers (now WW) since my early 20s. I am aware that many people now follow the Slimming World plan but I CANNOT eat food that makes a 'treat' a 'syn'. I know that it's psychological but I want to be able to eat whatever I want without ever feeling guilty about it.

On Monday 8th November I weighed myself, it had been a while; then I opened the WW app. (The app has never been off my phone in the 7 years since I downloaded it!) Oh no! it's that time of year when WW 'mess' with everything that you know! I do say that with a hint of sarcasm; the WW plan is usually modified every 2 years due to advances in science. I took the quiz and read everything about 'PersonalPoints'. 

Initial thoughts  . . . I can't do this! I looked at this new way for 5 days. Every time I took the questionnaire it changed my daily allowance! If I'm honest I couldn't see that it would work but I needed to do something. What I would say is that having read all the information provided by WW, 'PersonalPoints' is, in my mind, all about planning. Something that I have always advocated and even blogged about before.

I started on HRT on Friday 12th November. I sat and planned all my meals (and snacks) for the following week. Stood on the scales on Saturday 13th November; nearly back to the weight of 4th January 2020, but not quite! 

So, here we are on the 4th December 2021, 10 years after I reached my WW Goal weight! I am 3 weeks into HRT and restarting WW on my own PersonalPoints. I can already tell the difference that HRT has made; little gains like being able to walk down the stairs in the morning without painful ankles. This might actually lead to being able to go for long walks again (fingers crossed!). Something that I used to enjoy but have fallen out of love with. I have dropped 7 pounds. I have gone swimming weekly; little steps! I feel motivated. I have more energy and after speaking to the doctor yesterday I hope that things will only get better; she has suggested that it might take 6/8 weeks for the HRT to really take effect.

HRT may not be for everyone but if you have just a few of the symptoms listed above speak to your doctor. I wish that I had been more forceful 6 years ago.

As I said at the start of this post, I do better when I have something to aim towards. That's a foreign holiday (what's one of those?!) in November 2022. A year to lose and maintain some weight. A year of HRT and let's hope some motivation to start exercising again! 

Here's to my 50's!