This is still true but whilst out on my walk yesterday I realised that I don't dislike them at all; the beautiful colours of autumn are something to behold. I love snow and hope that the forecast for this winter comes true; I can't wait for those possible snow days when school can't open and we are deep in it!
These are the pictures I took yesterday morning and there is a theme; the sun is shining! What I realised is that what I don't like about the autumn and winter months are two things; it can be dark and dreary. When the sun is shining it's fine!
I first became aware that I had Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) about eight years ago; I may have had it before that but this is when I really acknowledged that I had a problem. I haven't been to the doctor as I know that there is little that they can do and if you have read any of my previous blogs you will also know that I am not someone who likes to take pills to relieve my issues. I'm not saying that is wrong; it's just not for me.
So how did I know that I had a problem? The easiest way to say it is that I crashed, both physically and mentally. I had three days off work; a Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I can pinpoint the date almost exactly; the Thursday was the last Thursday in November. My parents live in Scotland. My mum was so worried about me that she made up some excuse to come and visit and to check on my well-being. Over the last seven years I have crashed at exactly the same time; I don't always have time off work as I am able to manage my symptoms. The only year that I didn't have any major symptoms was four years ago when I was going to the gym three times a week; natural endorphin's created through exercise! It wasn't until Christmas that year that I realised that I had gotten through this period with few symptoms.
I am aware that there was a catalyst the first time that I crashed and although I have been able to manage my emotions much better over the last seven years there is still a burden that is there. How often are things tied up with memories; good and bad?!
Knowing when I will be at my weakest emotionally and physically can be a good thing. What I have tried to do is have something 'good' to look forward to. The people who I have worked with for a number of years, and have seen me go through this every year, can see the downward spiral. Although they don't say anything they are always there to support me. My best friend has also been great. As I blogged over the weekend; friends are a must in life and will truly help and support when we need it!
If you don't know anything about SAD here are some symptoms;
- Feelings of sadness and despair
- Irritability
- Crying spells
- Poor sleep
- Tiredness and fatigue
- Body aches
- Trouble concentrating
- Lack of motivation
- Loss of sex drive
- Overeating and associated weight gain
As I read these I did have a chuckle to myself as so many of them are perimenopausal symptoms!!
The mornings are noticeably darker than they were at the beginning of September and what has happened at night?! The clocks change in under two weeks; okay that's an hour extra in bed to start with but very quickly it will be still dark when I leave for work AND dark when I get home.
I know that I need daylight and hope that my walk to work will at least give me some. I need to make a point of going for a walk during my lunch break to get as much exposure to light as I can.
By mid December, even though that is the shortest day I am starting to feel better but then after the shortest day the days start getting longer again and by the end of January there is a significant difference in the amount of daylight there is!
Treatment for SAD;
- Bright light therapy - my dad bought me a light box a couple of years ago, an eBay purchase! I've never taken it out of the box! Maybe this is the year I should?!
- Temporary or permanent relocation to sunnier climes - that's not going to happen yet but maybe I ought to contemplate a move to Florida when I'm older?!
- Psychotherapy and counselling - isn't this what friends are for?! Well they are cheaper!
- Vitamin D supplements - never tried this and as I'm going to start taking my magnesium tablets again maybe I should just add these to the list; I'll rattle soon!
I may be joking but I can say that the cloud that has started to come over me isn't really a joking matter; I do know that there is light at the end of the tunnel!!
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